


Hold Onto Me

by LunaWinchester4255



Series: Destiel Morning Porn Club [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Arguing, Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), First Time, Fluff, Half-virgin, Hurt Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sam Ships It, Virgin Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 12:33:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaWinchester4255/pseuds/LunaWinchester4255
Summary: Dean realizes just how fragile Castiel's life is after his near-death experience.





	Hold Onto Me

Dean rubbed his hands over his face. He sat at the table and exhaled sharply. 

“Dean?”

He looked up, his brother handing him a beer. Dean shook his head. 

“I'm good.” 

Sam sat down next to him. “What's the matter, Dean? If it's because of mom...I thought--”

“It's not. I understand she did what she had to do but at least we're safe and Cas is...alive…” Dean gulped, clenching his fist.

Sam exhaled and let out a soft chuckle, sucking his teeth in realization.  
“Oh,” he smirked.

“What?”

“God, you're so transparent. You know that?”

“What the hell are you talking about, Sam?”

“God....you! You and Cas, every time we're in the car or on a case, you two...have these moments.”

“Moments?” Dean was baffled, but a part of him wanted to know what Sam had seen the past five--six years.

“I don't say anything but it's been happening for as long as he's been riding with us. It's the little stuff, whether it's you fixing his tie or just the way you talk to him. Sometimes you'll look into his eyes and you won't look away for a good five minutes.”

Dean crossed his arms.

“You're insane.”

Sam narrowed his eyes, “No, I'm not,” he stood up. 

“That feeling in your stomach? Where it's twisted and you feel like you're going to throw up--the feeling you've felt a thousand times before but now it's worse--it's because you almost lost the person you love tonight. I saw how you wanted to hold him, the fear in your eyes was--if not more--the same as when I was stabbed in the back.”

“You don't know what you’re…”

“It was the same look I had when I had to rewatch you die and die and die. When I had to kill Madison. And when Sarah--”

“You've made your point, Sam.”

“No, I'm not done. I need you to listen.” 

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't know long he’d be able to deny it. He knew on some level, Sam was right.

“So you can say that I don't know what I'm talking about, and you can deny it all you want. You love him, and he loves you.”

“You done?” Dean kept his head down. Don't give him the satisfaction. 

Sam scoffed. “Yeah. I'm done. But I hope you pull your head out of your ass soon; before you almost lose him again. Night.”

Dean stared at the lamp in front of him, focusing on the light as Sam’s footsteps descended. 

“Wait,” Dean called after him. He stood up and walked behind Sam.

The taller male turned around and sighed. 

He pursed his lips in thought before glancing up. 

“So...hypothetically...if I did have feelings for Cas, how do you know he feels the same way?”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself? He is sleeping in your room.”

 

Dean stared at the angel “sleeping” on his bed, which seemed strange, but after the night they had he deserved a good night's sleep.

He rested against the threshold with his arms crossed and sighed softly. 

‘Cas and me?’ he thought.

‘I mean...he's a great guy. He's funny and cool to be around. He's gotten better to be around these past few years and it's not like he's boring.’

‘But I'm straight. I like girls.’

Dean sighed softly. The thought of being with Castiel made him feel warm...safe. But what about being with Castiel?

It didn't turn him off, at all. 

Bisexual at best?

‘Those blue eyes…pure. Like his grace. Those hands...soft, yet rough. Just my type. Especially when they're pressing me to a wall.’

A memory flashed of when Castiel had him against a cement wall, right before he kicked his ass. 

‘His voice, gruff like sandpaper. Sexy and alluring. Seductive and dominant.’

Dean shivered at the thought. He wouldn't be thinking about approaching Cas if his feelings were purely sexual. Maybe Cas didn't even like sex? 

Was Dean...good enough for an angel? Cas wasn't just any angel--he was, well him. Castiel, the angel of Thursday. Winged, harped angel. Funny, crazy, broken angel. His...angel.

‘I couldn't imagine my life without you. You're so strong, and you're always been by my side.’

Now or never, Winchester. 

Dean swallowed his pride, his insecurities, and put his heart on his sleeve.

He took a step closer to the angel, breathing softly so he wouldn't wake him. 

Another step, but Dean stopped suddenly. A soft whimper resonated from the male in front of him. 

“Cas?” Dean spoke barely over a whisper in an attempt to get the other's attention. 

He lifted his head from it's resting spot, tears running down his cheeks. 

“Cas,” he whispered, quickly making his way towards the angel. “Cas...baby…” 

Castiel turned away timidly, not wanting the hunter to see him in this state of unwellness. 

“I apologize that I’m in your room, give me a moment to collect myself a-and I’ll…” he sniffled, more tears streaming down his cheeks. Dean immediately shook his head, slowly pulling Castiel into his arms. He was dressed in a worn t-shirt and sweatpants, and despite his angelic grace, he looked vulnerable--nearly graceless and human. He allowed Dean to manhandle him into his arms as he wept, his throat dry and swollen as he gasped for air. He couldn’t remember the last time he cried like this, perhaps when he was human a couple years back. He sobbed into Dean’s breast, like a child. All he wanted to do was apologize for not being strong, not being their one wall of defense. 

Dean exhaled, knowing right now wasn’t the best time to spill his heart out to Castiel. But despite the circumstances he felt closer to Castiel than he had in ages. When Castiel was human, he wanted to be there for him, but something held him back. He knows now that those must have been his true feelings reaching out. 

“Cas...I need to tell you something.” 

Cas shushed him, and shook his head.

“Not yet…” he buried himself back into Dean’s chest, slowly wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck. 

Dean slid his arms into place, locking his fingers at the small of his back. 

The hug was...different. It wasn’t platonic. It was loving...

Castiel pulled away from his chest and looked up at him. Dean removed one of his hand--still keeping a hold on Castiel--and placed it on his cheek to wipe his tears. 

He glanced down before looking back up at Dean. “Tell me the truth...am I...not good enough?” 

“What are you talking about?”

“Tonight...I...I almost died. And for the first time since I lost my grace that I felt vulnerable. I was scared and it was if…”

“You were human,” Dean finished his sentence. 

Cas nodded in confirmation. 

“Cas, you know that Sam and I--regardless of you being an angel, dying, or what-not--we'll always make sure you're safe. You don't have to worry about that baby…”

Castiel leaned back onto the mounds of his feet, his arms resting on the hunter's shoulders. “What was it that you called me just now?”

Dean shut his mouth and kept silent. Of all things, it would be a slip of the tongue that revealed his five year crush?

“Uhm, buddy. Like I always do,” Perhaps lying wasn't the way to go, but if it would save him some face then a small white lie would suffice rather than the cold hard truth kicking him in the teeth. 

“I'd advise you to tell me the truth, Dean. I am a Celestial being, you know,” he titled his head. 

Dean shut his eyes in frustration, sighing softly. 

“I guess you were going to find out eventually, so I might as well spit it out.” 

Castiel nodded, encouraging him to continue. 

“I...Um...I really...god this isn't easy…” 

“Dean, you have no need to tell me with your words. I can feel it, you know. In your chest and your heart...it rings deeply in your soul. Have you forgotten about our profound bond?”

“I thought that...went away. When I got the mark...died. It didn't go away when I was a Knight of Hell?”

“Dean, it never did. Even if I wanted it too--which is preposterous. I hope you understand that your feelings...they are not in the lone.”

“Do you love me, Cas? Be honest.”

Cas exhaled softly, his blue orbs returning to the hunter’s bright candy green ones. 

“Cause if you did...that'd be the best thing I'd heard in awhile.” 

Castiel’s eyes fluttered, his expression revealing it all.

Dean pulled him closer, “Can I kiss you now?” 

“I believe--as you say--’it'd be a crime if you didn't.’”

Dean chuckled softly, embracing the angel in his arms. He exhaled momentarily before their lips met in a long overdue kiss.

Castiel wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist, wasting no time to pull the hunter on top of him. He let Dean’s needy tongue plunge into his mouth, sucking it softly. Truthfully Castiel had always fantasized about bringing pleasure to his green-eyed devil, but he had no idea how overwhelming and sensual it would be.

“C-cas...hold on a sec. Are you sure about this?” 

He nodded. “Shouldn't I be asking you that? Dean… from the moment you stepped in this room I could feel your need for me. It was intense and you radiated this...emotion that I've never felt from you before. Well, I have, but it was concealed. This is the first time since we met that your longing wasn't hidden in my presence.”

“You've felt it before? When?”

A blush broke out across Castiel’s features. “I assume when you're calling out for me, you don't particularly moan my name…”

Dean facepalmed. “You hear me when I jerk off? I don't say anything, though. How is that possible”

“It doesn't matter. You're still pulling me towards you and...thinking all those things,” Cas bit his lip. “You're longing for me.”

“Does that mean you can feel what I'm thinking?” Dean bit lip. He'd never say it out loud, but the way Castiel could feel his lust was sort of incredible.

“I can do more than feel it, Dean,” he whispered, his hand caressing between Dean’s legs. 

The hunter’s eyes lidded with lust, one of his hands wrapping around the back of Castiel’s head while the other fell to grasp his hip. The angel gasped softly as his lips were seized. In that moment, he gave himself completely to Dean. 

It was all he had ever wanted, to connect with the hunter. His affections were more than physical, though through this method he could feel the heartbeat of the creature he was closest to. He wanted their souls to intertwine, the heat between them burning hotter than the infernos of hell. 

Dean took his time to undress the angel, kissing and sucking the exposed skin as it was presented to him. He wasn't sure the next time that Cas would let him touch all over him like this, and he wanted to take full advantage of the situation.

Once Castiel was fully naked, Dean took Cas’ hands and used them to strip his own clothing off. 

“This is...extremely intimate,” Castiel commented, slipping off Dean's last layer of shirt. 

Dean chuckled softly, his eyes meeting blue. “That's kinda the point, angel.”

Castiel slowly unzipped Dean's jeans, shifting them off his hips and taking his boxers off as well. 

His glance shifted towards Dean. “I didn’t take you for a romantic…”

Dean smiled softly, slowly pulling Castiel on top of his lap. “I guess there are some things you'll have to find out about me..” he pulled a bottle of lube from beneath his pillow, biting his lip.

“Like how you keep lube underneath your pillow? I found that earlier.”

Castiel pressed their lips together, his hands cupping his cheeks. “Dean…” he panted.

“Yes?”

“I want you to show me those things you think about when you touch yourself.”

He pressed the angel to the bed, his hands sweating lightly in nervousness. Truthfully he was unsure about the entirety of the situation, only hoping that this first time wouldn't be the last. 

“You shouldn't be so nervous, Dean,” Castiel pulled him fully on top of him, slowly kissing him. 

Dean slowly pulled back and poured some lube onto his fingers, closing the bottle and tossing it aside. Dean knew by Cas’ face that it was his first time like this, and he wanted to be extra careful.

“Hey, baby... it's gonna be okay. Just take a deep breath.”

Castiel smiled softly and spread his legs as he bit his lip. The first intrusion was strange, his lower half shifting so that he could adjust to the feeling. 

Dean did his best to comfort the angel and not hurt him. He placed soft butterfly kisses along his thighs as he slowly thrusted the finger in. Castiel was tight, obviously, but he was doing extremely well.

Slowly he pulled out the one and added a second one, biting his lip. He kissed the other softly as his fingers slipped in, Castiel gasping softly. 

Dean smirked, biting his lip teasingly and slowly began to thrust his fingers in and out. He was being extremely careful, not wanting to hurt him. Truthfully that was Dean’s worst fear. 

After the third finger was in and out--Castiel a panting mess--he began to pour lube on his member. Castiel sat up and wrapped his hand around Dean's shaft, rubbing the lubricant along it. 

“Dean....I want it…” he whimpered, pulling him closer and seizing his lips. Dean pressed him down as they kissed, gently pressing the tip inside Castiel in a fluid motion. 

Castiel moaned softly into the kiss, which was no longer seductive and calculated. It was messy, needy, but still sexy. His arms wrapped around the hunter’s broad torso. 

“Fuck…” Dean panted, pressing further into his angel. 

Castiel’s legs were spread, Dean soothingly stroking his hair as he slowly pulled out and pushed back in.

Castiel’s eyes were shut tightly in pleasure, his mouth falling open as Dean thrusted in and out, his member large and fulfilling. 

It was the first time he had felt anything this good, even when he was human having sex with April was nothing compared to this. During that time Castiel was thinking about Dean, not her.

“A-ah! D-Dean...I don't know where your...h-hah...is touching but it feels good...is this my prostate?”

Dean held back a chuckle, shifting onto his knees so he could hit that spot better. He was honestly surprised that he hit his g-spot so quickly, it had been years since he had done it. 

“Come here angel,” he whispered, now fully inside him. He pulled out in increments, pushing himself back in. He found a rhythm that Castiel reacted to most and stuck with that. He leaned his head down and began to suck his delicate, perky buds. 

“A-ah...hng…” he mewled, gasping and moaning as Dean repeatedly abused his prostate. His legs wrapped around his lover's waist, writhing and moaning in absolute pleasure. His fingers haphazardly carded through Dean’s short locks as he cried out, knowing he was close.

Dean moaned in his ear as he fucked into him, “Fuck...Cas…you feel so good inside, angel.”

It felt so good Castiel thought he might cry. His toes curled in ecstasy, his moans gradually increasing in sound.

He latched his lips to Dean's neck, sucking a mark on his neck. Dean gasped, licking over the shell of his ear. 

“D-dean I think I'm close...it feels so warm..” his back arched, the pool of warmth in his stomach increasing greatly. He was going to come soon and he knew it. 

“Me too, angel. I want you to come for me…” 

It was those words that sent him over the edge, demanding and dominant. His body spasmed and his hands gripped Dean’s back, letting out a final cry of pleasure as he came hard. His seed spurted between their stomachs and chests. 

Dean followed suit, his back arching and hands gripping the sheets as his orgasm rode through him, hot come filling up the angel’s insides.

\---

Once the pair of them were cleaned up and redressed, they laid side by side facing one another. 

“I love you, angel,” he whispered, pressing their lips together once more.

“I love you too, human…” he giggled into the kiss.

“Goodnight, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”


End file.
